Happy Friday!
So much has been happening lately that I feel strongly supported by my guardian angels and the Universe.
For the first time in my life, I feel centered and content with everything. Like there’s a higher power working for me and answering my prayers and intentions.
The messages are getting more intense and powerful that I can no longer keep up with them or take pictures of everything that’s showing up for me.
While the full moon energy is at its peak, I feel like I’ve transformed into another person. I no longer recognize myself and it can get confusing at times!
Like when people are kind to me and treat me like I’m worthy or when I attract magical synchronicity everywhere I go.
It’s just getting so intense and I feel super grateful that I was persistent in my healing and releasing.
I feel like I’ve shed so much old skin and found the real me from underneath the layers of conditioning.
I know that this sounds like an amazing place to be, but I can assure you that it can also feel very confusing!
Because I’m now living from a completely different and new vibration, my reality is reflecting the new me.
I don’t know how to explain it but I feel like I’m finally thriving instead of surviving!
Doing the Inner Work and Spiritual Healing is Key
If you’re still on your healing journey and get discouraged at times, because it’s not a smooth ride, then I want you to keep going.
The results are so worth it and so magical and this is the only way that you can shift your energy and change your reality.
I encourage you to invest in releasing and growing in any way that’s available for you.
We all heal in different ways and you need to find what works best for you.
I can confirm to you that the only way to change your reality is to change your energy.
And you can only shift your energy by confronting the pain and bringing awareness to the limiting beliefs and old patterns that are holding you back from living a healthy and abundant life.
Basically, the only way out of your old reality is through all of the negative patterns and paradigms. You have to work through it to create change.
Shifting your energy is only the first step. After that, it’s time to change your personality – because your identity is shaped by your conditioning and past.
Changing your personality takes time and a conscious effort to do things differently all the time.
You can read my previous posts for tips on how to do things differently to shift your identity and manifest a new reality.
Snow Full Moon and my Sanyasin Anniversary
To give you a timeline of how my personal healing journey has unfolded, let me share a few dates with you.
In October 2016, I attended my first Bali wellness retreat – which was not helpful and a it was a general detox/yoga/HIIT workout retreat.
I continued to attend similar retreats with the same company until I reached out to someone who I met at an event and who told me about Path of Love. That’s when I watched a video on the Path of Love website and connected with a lady in Dubai who later became my friend and mentor.
She was so supportive and kind. She guided me throughout my deep spiritual growth journey and told me all about the Osho group therapies and which ones I need to take.
If you want to learn more about my experience at Path of Love, read this post.
I connected with my genuine friend and mentor in the summer of 2017. This was after I had attended three wellness retreats with that group that I mentioned. And I attended a fourth retreat with them in October/November of 2017.
As you can see, I didn’t discover the modality that will support my healing best until I’ve taken inspired action and set an intention for deep healing and releasing.
In September and October of 2018, I attended a five-day primal breath group therapy at Osho Miasto in Tuscany. That was my first experience of the Osho energy work.
Right after primal breath, I attended Path of Love. Which was another great introduction to the deep, energy work.
In February of 2019, I got initiated as a Sanyasin by two renowned Osho therapists and I was given the name: Leela.
I got my Sanyasin name during the workshop. Luckily, these highly experienced therapists made a trip to Dubai in February of last year and that’s when I took two weekend workshops with them.
They did an introduction to inner child healing and a family constellation group therapy workshop.
This Full Moon actually marks my initiation as a Sanyasin and that’s probably why I feel like a new person and don’t recognize myself!
The main two workshops that really made the energy shift are the eight-day inner child healing (you can attend it anywhere but I did it in Osho Miasto) and the Tantra (sexual deconditioning) which I also took with Svarup.
Of course I’ve also attended other workshops in Dubai (related to Osho and relationships) and another Bali retreat in the summer of last year (related to understanding men and softening).
And when I’m in Dubai, I’m constantly doing the inner work by listening to Podcasts or reading books or watching videos.
What I love about the spiritual growth and healing journey is that it’s endless and there’s always something to release or learn.
The reason that I shared my healing journey timeline with you is to give you an idea of how long it can take to shift your energy and change your identity.
In my case it took about three years and a half of consistent releasing and shedding of old conditioning and patterns.
Giving New Meaning to the Adversity
These days, I feel grateful for having an adverse and negative childhood experience.
I won’t mention all of the reasons but one of them is that I now appreciate every single moment of life.
If you’ve survived any kind of abuse or challenging childhood, then you will understand what I mean.
I left home for good at age 29 and that’s why I make sure to not waste any moment without doing what I love.
I create my reality with my thoughts and feelings and I practice gratitude in each moment.
I also feel that part of why I’m always living my life to the fullest is that I had difficult parents who always made me feel that I’m not good enough. So I’m always competing with myself to be the best version that I can be.
This also makes me push myself and keep going when other people might give up.
I just don’t understand it when people are wasting their lives without making every moment count.
So instead of looking at my challenging and adverse past as something negative, I now see it as a blessing that helps me live a fulfilling life and find my soul purpose.
Do you think I would have a clear soul and life purpose without my negative childhood experience? of course not.
Shifting from Surviving to Thriving
The shift from survival mode to thriving mode is a big one.
I can’t describe how it feels because right now all I can say is that I feel confused!
But basically, the shift feels like I’m stepping outside of the box that I was guarding myself with.
When you get hurt by the people who were supposed to take care of you (in my case this was my parents), you start build a strong guard around you and you live in a bubble or box.
It takes a lot of releasing and healing to let this bubble go and step into the real world with confidence and trust.
I can proudly say that today, I live a normal life and I don’t hide from the world or from anyone.
I know that when I go back to Dubai, I will go back to living in my cave but that’s mainly because the energy there is different and I have to protect myself from the dark energies and vibes.
But when in Bali, the entire island supports the shedding and releasing. So it’s actually a healing process to be out and about because the releasing happens naturally here.
I’m also more open to communicating with other people and I no longer attract dark or strange energies.
It’s so freeing and liberating to be able to live a thriving life instead of being in survival mode all the time.
I feel blessed beyond measure for the gift of healing and spiritual growth.
I’m starting to count my days to when I move to Seminyak and I honestly didn’t think that I would ever do this!
Canggu is still my favorite Bali town but it’s now very crowded and busy everywhere. It has changed so much since my visit last summer.
I also think that the villa where I’m staying is contributing to how I feel. There’s no security here and I don’t feel very safe when I go to bed at night.
At the same time, I believe that I’m meant to stay at this villa. Mainly because of all the synchronicity that’s surrounding me.
I hope that this Full Moon helps you release a lot of old patterns so you can step into your most authentic self!
Love,
Leela
