Stop Obsessing. Here’s why Your Soulmate Hasn’t Appeared Yet.

So, you have done everything that is required to attract the love of your life. You have set clear intentions about the kind of person you want to manifest. You have put out positive affirmations. You have done the work to break emotional ties from the past.  

So, why are you still not manifesting your soulmate?

The reason could be something known as resistance. Resistance presents itself in many forms but at the core of it are feelings of fear, doubt, and attachment to a specific outcome. 

Resistance comes about when you obsess over, overthink, and become manic about manifesting a particular outcome, in this case, your ideal lover. 

Manifesting a soulmate with whom you can enjoy life with in a kind and safe space is something to be excited about. But once you allow this desire to consume your entire life, you are entering into obsession territory and it is here that resistance lurks. 

As you might imagine, overcoming resistance requires letting go of obsession. Your soulmate vision should only be part of your already active and amazing life. In other words, you really do not need a soulmate to come and complete or turn your life around.

The more you commit to going about your life as if it is not dependent on a lover, the more you let go of attachment, obsession, and resistance. This in turn creates space for that which you desire to manifest. 

What Is Resistance?

Resistance is the number one obstacle to manifesting. Resistance can be in the form of a thought or belief that is not in alignment with what you want to manifest. This means you are attempting to manifest from a place of fear, lack or doubt. This can significantly slow down the manifestation process or result in less than stellar outcomes. 

For example, overthinking about your soulmate and freaking out about when they will show up in your life is a form of resistance. It is a clear demonstration that you do not believe that what you want will actually manifest.

Think about it this way: You spend 20 minutes every day feeling gratitude and visualizing your ideal partner and the wonderful experiences you will have with them. During this exercise, your vibrational energy is high and you begin to draw forth what you want to manifest. 

However, you spend the rest of the day fretting about how annoying the dating scene is, how you can never attract the right people, and how the great love of your life is taking forever to come to you. In that instant, you let in the energy of resistance. 

When your thoughts and actions shift to ones of struggle, fear, and doubt, you stop being a vibrational match with your soulmate. You might attract people from that space but they will likely not be what you envisioned in your soulmate vision. 

But you might wonder, should you not focus on what you want? Doesn’t the Law of Attraction state that what you focus on the most becomes your reality?

Here’s the thing: There is a big difference between setting manifestation goals and releasing them out into the Universe, and obsessing about those goals. Obsessing is creating resistance by making something a big deal. 

When you make manifesting your soulmate a big deal, attracting them into your life will actually be quite difficult. When something is too big for us, resistance sets in immediately and blocks the manifestation process. On the other hand, when you believe that manifesting your soulmate vision is entirely possible, you relax, back off a little and allow the Universe to work its magic.

A simple yet powerful way to release resistance is to simply choose to take your mind off what you are trying to manifest. Choose to carry on with your day safe in the knowledge that what you asked for is on its way, without a doubt. 

In this case, choose to take your mind off your soulmate vision and instead focus on the love you already have in your life. Choose to have a productive day without stressing yourself out, trying to make things happen, or playing tricks in an effort to attract “The One”. You already know that your perfect soulmate is on their way. That’s all you need to know. 

Here is what you can do when you feel like you are obsessing over your soulmate vision. 

Shine the Light of Awareness on Your Obsessive Behavior

If obsession is a problem for you, then the fact that you have noticed your behavior is obsessive is important. You’ll understand that you are not in alignment with the highest good. This is a step in the right direction.

Catch yourself in those instances when it feels like you are trying too hard or when you feel you may be playing tricks in an effort to manifest love. 

What is really great about being aware of your feelings and behaviors is that it allows you to break the pattern and shift your focus immediately from obsession to alignment. 

One of the fastest ways to stop the downward spiral of obsession is to focus on how you “want” to feel. When you catch yourself feeling like time is running out and you need to do whatever it takes to bring in the One, shift your focus. Think about how you want to feel instead when your soulmate finally arrives. 

The same method works if you ever find yourself wallowing in self-pity about the Universe not manifesting the love of your life fast enough. Instead of worrying and obsessing about when your soulmate will come to you, bring awareness to how you want to feel when you share a life with them. 

Instead of focusing on the absence of a soulmate and trying to make things happen, spend more of your time visualizing the amazing experiences you will enjoy together, and then let it go. 

Focus on The Love That Is Already in Your Life

Spend time with other people who you enjoy being around. This is your support system and they can be a great source of unconditional love. They will also keep you on your toes if you start overthinking about attracting your soulmate. 

There is something empowering and comforting about surrounding yourself with a loving support network when you are trying to manifest a lover. By immersing yourself in love, you align with the highest vibrational frequency there is—Love. And, as you might imagine, the more love you surround yourself with the more you will attract. 

Enjoying the love you already have in your life is also a form of expressing gratitude. Like love, gratitude is such a powerful way of raising your vibrations and opening yourself to the miraculous unfolding of life. Just as surrounding yourself with love puts you in a place of receiving more love, expressions of deep-felt gratitude open you up to receiving more and more things to feel grateful for. 

So, even as you wait for the love of your life to show up, go out with people you enjoy being with as much as possible. By doing this, you will be conveying to the Universe that you are perfectly fine with or without a soulmate but you are open to the joy of sharing life with someone special. 

Expand the Scope of Your Prayers

Are your prayers or affirmations too specific that they are causing you to miss out on other wonderful possibilities?

When it comes to the Law of Attraction, absolute specificity can sometimes lead to attachment, fear, and doubt. While it is necessary that you become clear about what you want, it is also important to allow room for the endless possibilities of life to unfold. 

Sometimes what we think is good for us, might actually not be good after all. You are a powerful creator but you are also creating alongside the Universe, a portal to your Higher Self. When you learn to tap into the guidance of the Universe, you surrender and remain open to the goodness that is being sent your way.

If you find yourself obsessing about attracting a very specific person, you may automatically be shifting your vibrations to fear, doubt, and control. Have you noticed that the more you focus so much on getting the attention of someone specific, the further and further away they seem to get from you, intentionally or unintentionally?

A better and more effective way to manifest love is to set your intentions and ask the Universe to grant you “this or something better.’’ This is an expanded prayer or affirmation. It conveys your lack of attachment to a particular outcome but more importantly, it communicates absolute trust that the Universe is always working for your highest good. 

So, for example, let’s say you send out a prayer or affirmation like this one: “I am attracting my caring, loving, kind, and beautiful soulmate into my life,’’. You can expand this into “I am attracting my caring, loving, kind, and beautiful soulmate. This or something better is manifesting in my life in divine timing.”

Do you see how this sets you free of the burden of attachment and obsession? Expanding your prayer/affirmations allows you to move on with your day-to-day life while remaining open to possibilities and wonderful surprises. Often, the people who become our soulmate are not the ones we obsess about; they are the ones who come to us when we least expect it, in the most surprising of ways. 

Act “As If”

Embodying who you want to become and feeling the experiences you want to have even before these become physical reality is what acting “as if” is all about. This is one of the fastest ways to align with the vibrational frequency of what you want to attract. 

When you act as if, you are showing up from a place of complete faith in the Universe. A powerful principle of the Law of Attraction is: Ask, Believe, Receive. When you act as if, you are conveying to the Universe that you believe what you asked for is on its way and you have already received it even before it manifests physically. In turn, the Universe must deliver it to you. 

By acting as if your soulmate vision has already manifested, you shift your energy from lack and fear to faith, calm, and a deep knowing. If you are wondering how to act as if, ask yourself these questions: 

  1. What would your life be like if your soulmate vision was no longer a dream but a reality? 
  2. What positive emotions would you feel if you knew your prayers for your ideal soulmate had been answered with a reverberating yes? 

How does it feel to show up as though your soulmate is already in your life? It sure does feel better than obsessing or overthinking and wondering when they will ever show up. 

Acting as if you already have what you asked for is also an effective way of incorporating the practice of gratitude into your daily routine. You are not attempting to manifest from a place of fear and worry but rather from a place of faith. What you have asked for has been granted and therefore you have something for which to be grateful. 


Make your journey to manifesting your soulmate beautiful. Open up to the many surprises in store for you. Once you put out your intentions to the Universe, choose to remain open to the possibilities that are coming your way. It is not your job to worry about when and how your ideal partner will come your way. The Universe is always working for your highest good and will deliver to you the love of your life in divine time. All you have to do is trust and let go. 

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