I believe most of us get into dating with zero or limited skills and knowledge.
If you’re someone who didn’t invest in learning about dating and relationships, then you’re probably feeling confused and discouraged about the entire process.
In these series of ‘Dating Sunday’ blog posts, I share with you insights and lessons from my personal dating journey.
Why Rejection is Part of Dating
I shared a blog post recently about this topic. In that post, I shared why rejection has nothing to do with who you are or your sense of self.
All rejection means is that you’re simply not a match with the other person who you were matched with.
What most of us do – me included – is feel so disheartened when things don’t work out with someone and then we take a long break from dating and this basically slows down the process.
I remember doing this myself when I got ghosted by someone in early January of 2020. Although we only dated briefly, it was very hurtful to get ghosted. Especially since I was introduced to him by a matchmaker.
So I was intentionally avoiding dating apps and I didn’t expect to have this type of negative experience when using a dating agency and a professional matchmaker!
What this experience taught me is to know my worth really well and not try to fit into someone else’s image or what they were looking for in a partner. Which is essentially what I did in that particular experience.
I’m also extremely grateful for this person because the experience is what pushed me to learn about dating and to share everything that I learned with you in these series of posts.
Whenever you experience rejection in dating, there’s always an opportunity for growth and learning.
So instead of focusing on the negative, look for the learning and what you can do differently next time!
This is called reframing and it’s an NLP concept that I teach in my one-on-one coaching.
If you feel stuck in dating or in any other area of your life, it’s most likely because you still have a good amount of inner work to do. And almost all of it relates to self-worth and confidence.
As a certified NLP coach, I can support you in releasing your blocks and limiting beliefs. And this can impact all areas of your life – not just love and relationships.
What you can do When you Get Rejected
Apart from focusing on the lesson and the growth in the negative dating experience, you want to stay in the dating game.
What this means is that you can take a break when you need to, but then don’t take a super extended one or even worse, completely give up on finding your person.
Simply follow your intuition and go back to the dating scene when you feel ready and when you’ve built up your confidence and self-worth.
I’m personally grateful for this pandemic season because it helped me see things from a new perspective. And this applies to my relationships with others, including friends.
What this season also helped me see is my old patterns when it comes to relating with others. So things like setting healthy boundaries and sticking to my standards were highlighted in this period.
I also had so many powerful breakthroughs and insights about friends.
All of this wouldn’t have been possible if it weren’t for this pause and elimination of all distractions.
And that’s another example of reframing. Instead of focusing on the negatives that came with this pandemic, I choose to take advantage of this long break and invest in building my self-worth and cutting things and people that no longer serve me.
So the next time you get rejected, take a mini break if you need to and then go back to dating.
Trust me, this gets easier with practice. Just keep at it and don’t give up.
Your person is out there but it takes patience and persistence to find them.
If you’re currently struggling with dating and have a dilemma that you need help with, comment with your question and I’ll be happy to answer in the next blog post.
And if you have any ‘Dating Sunday’ topic suggestions, feel free to comment with your ideas so I can cover them in future blog posts.